Holy Smokes, I made this!
At the end of September, I spent a week in Taos, New Mexico with twenty women from around the US and Canada on a retreat led by Andrea Scher and Laurie Wagner. I can’t even tell you how incredible it was. Seriously. I can try, but words will never adequately describe the week, the women, the words, the WOW and the WONDER of this experience in Taos.
We wrote, we watercolored, we walked, we stretched, we danced under the full moon’s light (and maybe let out a howl or two), we jumped into the frigid Rio Grande, we waded into hot springs, we wandered the Taos Pueblo and the streets of Taos, we ate (boy did we eat), and then we wrote some more.
It was bliss.
I spent a few of my free hours wandering around art galleries in town, scanning the walls for some original art for my kitchen, specifically hoping I’d find the orange poppies of my home state of California. Because Taos is an Artists’ Town where Real Artists Make Real Art with canvas and paint and brushes.
And though the gorgeous mountains and vast skies of New Mexico were ubiquitous, I could not find my poppies. (Not surprising since New Mexico boasts the Yucca blossom as its state flower).
I did however, have the chance to make my own art. As part of the week, we were given our own set of paints and materials to make our own watercolor creations.
The only instruction from Andrea: You can’t get it wrong, there are no mistakes.
I took this to heart and painted brushstrokes of deep pinks and dazzling blues.
But still, I wanted the poppies.
So yesterday morning, two weeks out from my time in Taos, I took out my paintbrushes and the new radiant paints I bought upon arriving home, and I thought, the heck with it, I’m going to attempt my own poppies. I found a YouTube tutorial and I repeated the mantra: there are no mistakes.
And holy smokes, I made this:
I’m telling you this story because these poppies SMACKED ME OVER THE HEAD this morning with the metaphor they evoked. Which, as I think more about it, was really my takeaway from this entire retreat experience. And that is …
STOP LOOKING OUTSIDE YOURSELF, MEAGAN.
You’ve got the wisdom, the creativity, the talent, the words, the ability, the knowledge. You have what you need. It’s already inside you. So get it done.
Do you look outside yourself, too?
Maybe it comes in the form of (doom)scrolling, endlessly looking at how others are doing it and attempting to mimic their style;
Maybe it comes in the form of the ‘if I just take *ONE* more class or earn one more degree, then I’ll be set’ mentality;
Maybe it means searching out ‘the experts’ in a field and following *their* advice instead of your own intuition;
Maybe it means hiding your light because people who are too bright are seen as obnoxious or boastful;
Maybe it’s the way you hold yourself back from calling yourself a creative or an artist or a writer or a WHATEVER YOU ARE because you aren’t sure you deserve the title when you don’t have much to show for yourself (yet!);
Maybe it’s the pause you take before beginning something because it’s already been done before, and you think someone out there can probably do it better than you anyway.
However it manifests for you, know that you are not alone! I get it.
Friend, I’ve been there too!
But I’m going to go ahead and frame these poppies and get them up in my kitchen to remind myself that I most definitely (or at least very probably) already have what I need.
How will YOU remind yourself? Shoot me an email and let me know, I’d love to hear!
