This Is What a Miscarriage Looks Like

If you’ve followed this blog for long, you’ll know it’s not a secret that I’ve had ten miscarriages in the space of six years. October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and I thought this might be a good time to remind people of what miscarriage looks like.

I dug a little into our photo archives and found pictures on the day (or day after) I started miscarrying each of my pregnancies. Can you tell?

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The memoir I won't have to write

Two weeks ago, I am at Children’s Hospital, waiting for the results of my daughter’s blood test. I am convinced my future looks bleak, hers even bleaker. Which is strange, considering I’m usually such an optimist. How am I going to write this scene in my memoir, I find myself wondering? How will I describe this night in the years and pages to come?

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Is it really almost over?

Whoaaaa … where did summer go? We JUST got in our groove and now you’re telling me school is around the corner? Why did I not slow down more often and savor a little more? Why didn’t I schedule a few more weeks of oh, say, A B S O L U T E L Y  N O T H I N G instead of signing us up for more activities? 

I’m not the only one feeling this way, am I?

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Just this I cannot share (a published piece)

Eleven years ago, my best friend experienced the loss of her twins at twenty-six weeks. A decade later, I still think about it. I still write about it. It changed the course of her life, and mine. Try as I did back then, I could not understand her pain, until one day, years later, I could. I wrote a story of this experience and I am honored that it was published earlier this month on The HerStories Project. I am sharing it here with a link to the full piece below.

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