Deep breath, Mom.

I had to take a lot of deep breaths today. I should have taken a few more. There were times I should have stopped to take one, but I didn’t. I yelled instead. I grabbed instead. I’m taking them now, while my boys are napping upstairs. Both sleeping soundly, something that doesn’t happen much these days.

Upon reflection, here’s what I should have said

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The problem with 15 minutes to read

This is how it goes. And it happens the same way every time. With the best of intentions, I check out a stack of books from the library. (Or if I'm REALLY determined I should read it, I buy it). And then my bedside table becomes something of an intimidation.

So when I have those rare free moments to read, I am completely overwhelmed and entirely paralyzed. Do you have this problem too?

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Mom Fail.

Did I say I was a genius? 

No? Phew. OK good. Because I had a serious mom fail this week.

I thought I was being a serious makeshift genius with these iron on knee patches for Silas's jeans. Lately, he and his brother have been running around the house on ‘fire calls’ with their oversized fire trucks, sliding every which way and ultimately destroying every pair of pants he owns. The cheapie jeans I buy him from Target and Old Navy (because he's THREE, right?) have taken a serious beating. So I thought I was being incredibly clever to patch them up with iron on jean-like patches. 


But today he came home and said he didn't want to go back to school, that he didn't like his class, or his teacher or anything about school. 

This is unlike Silas considering he’s loved everything about school since day one.

We talked about his day, and ultimately, it came down to his knee patches.

Here I was all set to write a post about my makeshift genius idea of saving his tattered jeans with these iron on patches. As if, what? I was the first mom to ever think of this? Genius, I know.

But today, he said, some of the kids had been laughing at his knee patches. AACCKKKKK. My heart broke.

Not because he was being teased. Kids are mean, that is going to happen. Not because there was no one around to stop it. Teachers are not omnipotent, they aren’t always going to be able to prevent it. And not because he got his feelings hurt. He is a sensitive little boy, that is most definitely going to happen.

These are lessons we can talk about and I can teach.

No, my heart was broken because it was MY FAULT. Who knew the style police started their patrol as early as kindergarten? Sure as hell not me!

Lest you wonder whether I whipped out my card and started re-outfitting him in Hanna Andersson or Boden or the Tea Collection, let me just say right now: I did not. (I had to google ‘trendy kids clothes’ just to come up with those few names, if that shows you anything about my sense of toddler style).  Not that there is anything wrong with those shops, they are adorable indeed. But nope, he’ll still be going to school in well loved hand me downs and slightly tattered, possibly stained outfits. He’s THREE for godsake. And I just can’t bring myself to put patches on a $70 pair of 4T jeans.

I jest.

I’m done with the patches. If he’s going to get teased, it’s not going to be on my knees.

I just hope I can prepare him to stand on his own two feet when it happens again.