I’ve had a version of this blog post written so many times. I’ve lost count which shooting it came before, or after. And for some reason, I’ve not published it until today.

Hold up, not true. I know exactly why I’ve not published it until today:

I’ve been too scared.

Scared I would offend someone. Scared I wouldn’t say the right thing. Scared I was wrong. Scared I would anger some, or step on toes.

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Deep breath, Mom.

I had to take a lot of deep breaths today. I should have taken a few more. There were times I should have stopped to take one, but I didn’t. I yelled instead. I grabbed instead. I’m taking them now, while my boys are napping upstairs. Both sleeping soundly, something that doesn’t happen much these days.

Upon reflection, here’s what I should have said

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Look Mama, Look!

I don’t often comment on current events or politics. I tend to keep this blog for random musings on life and motherhood. But the massacre in Orlando knocked the wind out of me this week. Somehow I can’t shake the horror.

I had a different post written with my commentary on our need for more humanity and less fear. I was almost ready to hit publish and share it. And maybe I will at some point. But then this happened with my son:

‘I want to paint my toes, Mama. I want pretty toes like you.’

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