I can let that go

 
 

Both my boys have eczema. The younger one has it worse, the red patches pop up like a daily game of whack-a-mole on his little body. Scaly clouds behind his knee, and a constellation of pin-pricks across his belly. We have the steroid cream the doctor prescribed, but I like to think of myself as a ‘natural’ mother, I grew up eating fruit leather and carob, for christssake. So it sits on the shelf reserved for worst-case scenarios.

I spend hours searching the web for ‘natural eczema remedies’ – but they almost all involve giving up dairy and wheat, and I just can’t do that. (um, hello, French toast Saturdays?) In this way, I am a terrible mother. Selfish, lazy, hypocritical. Of course I would do it if his life depended on it; I’m not THAT terrible. But he doesn’t seem bothered by it, nor does my pediatrician. So I let it go.

I let a lot of things go. Don’t we all? That’s the only way it’s possible to survive this motherhood gig. If I make it look effortless, it’s only because I choose not to bother. Or at least, I do it half-assed, which I clock at a smidgen above lazy.

It drives my husband mad, because he of course sees all the little things I let go. He sees the half finished projects all over the house, and can find me by following the trail of open cupboard doors like Hansel and Gretel following crumbs. And speaking of crumbs, he only need look at the floor to know that I do indeed feed our boys while he’s away.

Read the rest of this essay here at Mamalode.